


Plague Crafter

by AnselaJonla



Series: Prompt fills [10]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-29
Updated: 2018-09-29
Packaged: 2019-07-18 22:31:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16128098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnselaJonla/pseuds/AnselaJonla
Summary: Prompt fill: [WP] God sent down 10 Plagues on Egypt to make Pharoah let his people go. You're an angel in the Plague R&D Department. Describe your process/what projects you're working on.





	Plague Crafter

Look, coming up with new plagues isn't exactly  _easy_  you know. For every good one that's created, your plagues of frogs and rivers of blood, there's at least two duffers.

What, you thought I could just wave a wing and wink a fiery eye and I'd have something fit to send out to those who disobey the One Above? HA! Working with divine magic isn't that  _simple_  my friend.

Take this one. It was the prototype for that biting insects plague that humans still mention every now and then. Looks pretty nasty doesn't it, with pus green mist swirling in the containment spell like that? What does it do?

It causes an itchy nose. It gives people in the affected area an unrelentlessly itchy nose that no amount of scratching can ever bring them relief from. Even if they cut their own noses off in frustration it won't help, they'll just have an itch where their nose  _used to be_. One of my test subjects found that out the hard way.

Test subjects? Yeah, I test my plagues before letting His Grumpiness set them loose. How else am I meant to know what he's going to unleash on the world? I get a steady supply of souls from Below, who've agreed to be my guinea pigs in exchange for some time off their sentence of eternal damnation. Yes, they're all volunteers. I crafted the contract myself, you can't even  _read_  it if you're not doing so of your own free will.

I'm just putting the finishing touches on a new plague, if you want to watch. You do? Just stand still there then, and  _don't interrupt me_. Don't even move, if you can help it. This is quite a delicate stage. One mistake and I'm spending the next month literally pulling myself together. You'll probably take longer, maybe up to a year. You're only human after all.

Just a twist here, and a poke there, and a brush of feathers to stop that runaway crystallisation and... done.

You're right, it  _is_  very pink. That's not a bad sign, per se. The rivers of blood one was about this shade. No, it won't be a repeat of that. It's impossible to make the same plague twice. I can do  _similar_ , as shown by how many "Black Deaths" there's been, but never exactly the same.

I'll just divide the containment field here, just enough of the spell to affect my handful of test subjects, and let it into the testing chamber.

Yeah, it's nice in there. I've got several of these, simulating various parts of the mortal realm. I like to make my test subjects feel at ease, as much as I can. This  _is_  a break from never ending torment. Oh, it's working.

Burps. A plague of  _burps_. I was hoping for something... better. More impressive. Something that would knock your socks off.

I don't get visitors very often.

I'll just shelve this with the rest of the bum plagues for now. Maybe the Wrathful One will have a use for some of these one day.

Oh... I  _like_  that idea. It would be a great joke. And if I could release these myself, I would totally use it for that, but after the thing with the farting plague and the armies of the faithful I'm not allowed to visit the mortal realm myself.

Maybe I could convince one of the others...

Have a great time in Heaven. Come back to visit me whenever you want! I'll be here.


End file.
